I was a bit anxious last week leading up to Mother’s Day. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel on the “big day.” Would I be overcome with grief? Which would make me more upset — being acknowledged or ignored?
I’ve joined a few groups for grieving mothers on Facebook and I’ve noticed a recurring theme. Many women are never acknowledged on Mother’s Day, even by their own spouses. It just breaks my heart.
Did you know that Mother’s Day was originally created to honor a mother who had lost multiple children?
Franchesca Cox, founder of Still Standing Magazine says, “A mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart.” Oh, how very right she is! There are so many types of moms… moms who have children, moms who yearn for children, moms who have lost children, moms who foster children, moms who adopt children, moms who parent stepchildren, moms who care for others’ children, moms who are distant from their children, and so many more!
A year and a half ago, God lead us to a new church home. We’ve been so happy there, and this chapter in our lives has only solidified my belief that we were brought there purposefully.
On Sunday morning as we approached the front door, I was handed a little bag of candy and a flower by a sweet little girl. I had never met her before and I highly doubt she knew our story. You see, she was giving Mother’s Day treats to all women, not just those who appeared to be mothers to the naked eye.
And when it came time for our pastor to take the stage, mothers weren’t singled out by asking them to stand. Instead, we were prayed over. All of us. The joyful, the grieving, the content, the yearning, the strong, the weary.
Many ministries in our church revolve around fostering and adoption. This allows for quite a bit of conversation about misscariage, stillbirth, infant loss, and infertility. It can be a tough subject to dive into for many people, but I’m so very thankful that these conversations occur.
As I have grieved, my church family has grieved with me. And I don’t just mean my friends and acquaintances. As I said in a previous post, several strangers have approached me letting me know they’re praying for us. And I have learned of many more through Facebook and mutual friends. 1 Corinthians 12:25-26 says, “This makes for harmony among the members, so that all the members care for each other. If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.”
The first words out of my husband’s mouth that morning were “Happy Mother’s Day!“, friends at church hugged me and told me the same, and I received many messages and texts throughout the day with sweet Mother’s Day wishes. I wish I could express what it means to me that others acknowledge Ryder’s life and my motherhood. Each day, a fear tries to creep in, saying that Ryder will be forgotten. I shoo it away with all my might. He will not be forgotten. Not by God and not by the body of Christ.
I got through the day with very few tears, and those were not of grief but of joy and thankfulness. I am incredibly thankful that Ryder made me a mommy. I will always be his mommy.
It may not have been the Mother’s Day I imagined it should be, but it was still a good day and I rejoice.
“For our heart rejoices in Him, Because we trust in His holy name.” Psalms 33:21
With hope and love,